‘My life is ruined because my partner went off with someone else and it’s all his/her fault’. ‘I can never be successful now because my business partner stole all the money out of the business’. ‘I can never lose weight because I don’t like fruit and vegetables’. We’ve all heard statements like these, perhaps we even use them to define ourselves. This means that we are looking for and finding any number of reasons and excuses to justify our problems and issues rather than taking responsibility for the results in our lives. This is a state of complete disempowerment, it is victim mode. At Life Coaching Melbourne we use the term ‘Cause and Effect’ to describe how we run our lives. When we are ‘at effect’ we blame everyone else for what is not working in our lives.

The alternative to this is living ‘at cause’. When you take charge and start living with total responsibility for your actions your life becomes far more powerful and productive. There is an old saying that ‘it doesn’t matter what happens to you in life, it’s how you deal with it’ and this is very true.

There are certain events that can happen in life to throw us off balance for instance divorce, death of a family member, financial difficulty, personal illness and many other things. It is the easy path to take on the victim mentality when life takes an unexpected turn. Grieving is natural and requires some time, however at some point you must move on, learn what you need to learn and make some new decisions about the event or situation that can empower you for the future. This will allow you to become empowered in your life and cease being demoralised and weakened.

The secret to being ‘at cause’  is all in your head. It sounds simple doesn’t it? It is simple – change how you think and what you believe about the event and you’ll be in control. Take responsibilty for your feelings and beliefs, choose the most positive of thoughts and monitor the stream of chatter that runs through your head being sure to acknowledge and reward the empowering and life affirming thoughts. When you do this regularly and monitor what you allow in your mind, the results and changes in your life are amazing.

The reason this works is based on physics – true! Everything on the planet has a vibration. People, furniture, stones, plants, animals, bits of carpet, everything. Physics is now telling us that similar vibrations are attracted to each other. To put it in very simple terms,  when we are positive and happy, we vibrate at a high level and therefore we attract other things and people who are vibrating at a similar level. The reverse is also true. When we’re depressed and angry, we will attract other depressed and angry people and events into our lives. It is entirely our responsibility to take charge of our vibration, lift it as high as possible and start attracting the good things in life, this is truly living ‘at cause’.

What is the best way to do this? I hear you asking. There is a great number of things you can do to help yourself. Things such as eating healthy food, drinking plenty of water and doing regular exercise are a good place to start. Being kind to yourself, rewarding yourself when you are being ‘at cause’ and spending time with other ‘at cause’ people. For the really big stuff that needs shifting, get some professional Life Coaching Melbourne sessions from a qualified NLP practitioner.